I worry at times that I let my baser nature get the better of me. I will perfectly admit that I will revel in the defeat of a enemy. Hell, revel is not quite discriptive enough. I will cheerfully dance around my cubical, brag, and exalt in the fact that the enemy in my eye's has been defeated. Oh and I'll dance on there grave too.
Probably a jig.
Maybe a waltz.
And I have to wonder if it's wrong if I feel that way, or immoral, or any number of words that seem to describe the feeling of regret.
Seriously, part of me, maybe the part that is still catholic, gets very upset with the rest of me for feeling that way and in general says "Thats not very gentlemanly Leo, you should know better then that." And then tries to shame me into contrition.
Luckily, the over powering sense of joy, the sense of rightness, the sense of winning prevails and it lets me go on to other conquests.
Now, apply this to being a Type A personality and seeing everything as a competition. I'm not saying its right or wrong. But it still leaves me wondering if there is grace to be found in this, if there is a compromise. Maybe I'm just waiting with baited breath for the great jury in my soul to come back with judgement. Or maybe I'll just keep going moment to moment, it's worked so far.
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