The Key to a Flat Stomach

So, I will perfectly admit, for a gay man, I have no fashion sense. By choice I would prefer to wear a pair of decent jeans, a t-shirt that is not so wholly it's socially acceptable, a pair of tennis shoes, white gym socks, and a belt. 

This is when I'm not at work.

At work, like most government workers, I wear shirt and tie. But I tend to take it one step further. It's not just a buttoned shirt and a sign of submission, no, it's my armor. Because as they thought in the eighties, and it pretty much holds true, if you can intimidate or charm them from the first impression, you've won half the game already.

So for me, it's rarely a plain white shirt, no, it's something brightly colored yet tasteful. I can wear strong reds and blues, I have the complexion for it. My ties are tasteful, tactful, and match my shirts.  I'm vibrant, I'm alive, and my body is screaming:

"PAY ATTENTION TO ME, I'M THE MOST AWESOME THING IN THE WORLD!!"

Now not all of this comes without a little sacrifice. There is one thing that lays near and dear to my heart (and by heart I mean package, and by package I mean my cock) that most folks don't know about.

Shirt Garters.

And I know fair reader, you are sitting there wondering "But Leo, what are Shirt Garters?"

To answer it simply, they are bands of elastic that attach to the bottom of your shirt, and either attach to the top of your socks or have stirrups to go under your feet. 

I've put a picture here to help you visualize it:

Now you are probably saying, that just looks silly.

But I want all you men to think about this for a second. Why in good god's name would you spend hours at the gym, trying ever so desperately to get a flat stomach, when your going to wear a shirt that makes you look like you have a tire around your gut after every time you sit down?

Alternatively you could just keep tucking it in all day, which looks like you are playing with yourself around the office.

And for you men who don't have a flat stomach yet, or don't think it's worth the time.

Here's a little secret, from me to you.

If you don't look like you are wearing a bag on your top, you don't look as big as you are!!

Craziness I know, but somehow it slims your figure, it's kind of amazing that way.

So, for all you folks who have to wear the business gear, do yourself a favor. Go out and buy a set of shirt garters. Yes, you will feel like a puppet for a few weeks, but in the end the sacrifice is worth it.

And this is how we will successfully conquer the world.

Because I don't know about the rest of you, I wanna be the best looking dictator on the block when my time comes.